Success Principal 1:
Take 100% responsibility for your life no matter what
When I first read this, part of me was yeah yeah I already do this, in actual fact I am really good at blaming myself for my failures, for how I have created what I have, but the more time I spent meditating upon this sentence, the more I got that sinking feeling that maybe I wasnt actually taking responsibility for my life, rather I was creating a number of reason (although very good reasons) as to why I just couldnt seem to make 'it' happen. Surprisingly next came the rational arguments as to why this principal could not be right, how was it my fault that the economy took a turn for the worst, or that the grouchy person I work with was always in a continual bad and unhelpful mood, surely it wasnt me who created that? right?
However as I read more about the principal I soon learn't that taking responsibility was more than just looking at the outcome achieved, rather it was looking at the experience I took from the outcome and what I did with that experience that would lead me to my ultimate success.
So here begins the journey, what actually is taking 100% for my life and how can I do this on a continual basis?
Firstly it begins with giving up excuses, which can often be sneakily camouflaged as reasons. According to George Washington Carver 99% of all failures come from people who have a habit of making excuses. Its time to give up the vicitm stories, reasons, excuses, lies etc... its all about playing above the line and being at cause rather than effect. its about knowing that I have the power (can you hear the bad 80s music playing) to make it different, to get it right and more importantly produce the results that I desire.
No matter what is happening, there is no room for excuses and only room for learning and taking responsibility and its as easy as asking a few simple, but effective questions.
1. How did I create this?
2. What was I believing about myself (what was my identity)
3. What values were I holding as a priority
4. What beliefs and attitudes was I exhibiting
5. What was I focusing on
6. What action was I taking
7. What skills do I need to pick up
8. What can I learn from this, which will empower me towards achieving that which I desire.
See how by asking some questions that we get an entirely new perspective? Jack Canfield believes there is a formula for taking 100% responsibility
E + R = O
The basic idea is that every Outcome (O) whether it is good or bad, success or failure, wealth or poverty is a result of our Response (R) to an earlier Event (E). If we for a moment were to release all judgment on the outcome and replace it with a spirit of ferocious curiosity and work out how we have created the outcome, then we have the opportunity to replicate it (desired outcome) or change it (undesired outcome) simply by looking at the Events and Responses associated with the Outcome.
For example if I were to use the fact that currently my favorite skinny jeans are feeling way to snug for comfort, and reverse engineer it I would see that my response of eating chocolate every night and not exercising to the event of coming home late from work is actually creating for me the outcome of snug jeans with a muffin top, but if I were to change even 1 part of the equation such as R by eating healthy and exercising daily then my outcome is bound to change e.g. hello super skinnies. I understand that this is a basic example, but hopefully you get the idea.
At the end of the day, there are always going to be external factors that will allow us to choose to be limited, just as there are going to be people, just like you and I who are going to show us how they over came these limitations and 'got the prize' and it all starts with taking responsibility 100% by giving up all excuses.
My challenge to you - next time you hear yourself begin uttering anything that sounds like an excuse, stop and ask yourself the 8 questions and see what happens next.
Secondly, Give up all Blame, have you ever seen a person who only blames others, not only is it annoying, but it's also really dis-empowering for all involved. No one made you do it, no one twisted your arm, made you think the thoughts you thought, created the feelings you felt, nor held you by gun point to take the action you did. It was you and you had a choice. Now I can hear the screams already as to how your mother wasn't loving or your dad was never around... well sunshine its time to get over it and start 'for giving'. I say this with love and Im sure there are alot of you out there that have some valid reasons to blame another person for where you are, but since we have already committed to giving up reasons, we may as well include blame as well.
My challenge to you: everytime you want to blame another stop and 'for give' them. This is done by looking at the circumstance and completing the following sentence as many times as it takes for you to be free and back on track at taking 100% responsibility
Thank you for giving me...........
For instance, when my last relationship broke up, I was able to stop blaming him for my unhappiness simply by focusing on what the breakup and he had given me e.g. thank you for giving me the reason to love and take better care of myself, thank you for giving me a window as to what constitutes a wonderful relationship, thank you for giving me a mirror to myself where I now am able to be a better person and so on... Trust yourself, there is always something good to be found
Thirdly Give up Complaining:
If we are to look at what complaining means then it can actually be a great tool in helping us clarify what it is we really want. If you think about it, being able to complain, means you believe there is something better than what you are currently experiencing. If you complain about being poor, then its because you have a reference point that great wealth exists. So rather than complain about it and forsake your power, why not get excited and see what opportunities you have in getting even clearer about what it is you wish to achieve and then request exactly that.
Complaining also never gets you the desired results you want, however if you approach it from the perspective of knowing what it is you want, then you are in a position to either request it, take action to achieve it or come up with something in between
My challenge to you: Listen to your complaints from the perspective of what it is you want and then ask for it (and only ask for it from someone who can actually give you what you want). The first person you should always ask is yourself... How can I achieve <insert that which you desire>, What is it that I would need to do more of? What is it that I would need to believe? What is it I would need to do less of?
My Fourth Tip is to Trust yourself. Life is wonderful, it always provides warnings, whether that be comments from other people, gut instincts, recurring dreams - the important thing is to pay attention to what you are thinking and feeling about and to trust yourself. Being 100% responsible is just as much about what we do on the inside as we do on the outside. If you get an inspired idea, take action on it, if something isnt feeling right - listen to it... You have all the answers within and what you dont have you will learn, provided you trust and listen to yourself
My challenge for you: At the end of everyday, go through your day and look at all the areas you trusted yourself and celebrate them, regardless of the outcome. The fact that you can identify where you have trusted yourself demonstrates where you are already taking responsibility for your own life. Remember it is you that creates the world you live in
And finally the fifth point: Seek Feedback: this can be scarey and also liberating - ask for feedback from trusted sources about how you are going, what you are doing well, what you need to improve on and listen to their responses taking on that which sits well and empowers you. As Budha says 'believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said, even if I have said it unless it agrees with your own reason and common sense
My challenge to you (which I have already done tonight) Find 5 people you respect and ask them to give you feedback and then take steps of action to implement the learning.
The great thing is, you will soon know if what you are doing is working or not simply by the results you are creating.
So my accountability buddy, I look forward to hearing how you have taken 100% responsibility for your life starting from now and Im sure we will learn alot from one another
Forever yours
The Passion Project.
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